Nothing Cures Loneliness Like Fried Food

Hey there chief lonelyheart, happy Valentine’s Day. I know, I know, it’s a miserable day, both weather-wise and emotionally, but buck up! I’ve got the perfect cure for that loneliness: binging! Nothing makes you feel better than eating a whole bunch of food that’s really bad for you. You know it, I know it, science knows it, so why fight it?

This DeLonghi D650UX Cool Touch Deep Fryer will let you drown your sorrows in hot, hot oil as you deep fry anything you’ve got nearby. Toss in sliced potatoes to make chips, maybe some chicken fingers, some fried vegetables, a fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich; you know, be creative. And after you down a few thousand calories lay back on the couch. You’ll realize that you’re so full and sort of sick that you haven’t thought for hours about the crippling loneliness that this greeting-card generated holiday has brought up in you. Hey, it’s the power of overeating. Embrace it.

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This entry was posted by Adam on Wednesday, February 14th, 2007 at 4:55 pm

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Susan Dee 02/14/2007 05:58 PM 1 point
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So funny! & sad. I like the idea of a fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I think it would help me feel good.

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Bob Jones 02/15/2007 05:37 PM 1 point
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Yeah, you'll be too busy having a heart attack due to a blocked artery you won't be thinking about being lonely. Ooh maybe I could fry some snickers bars, I hear that's good.

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